Hello, my darlings.
Last night, I visited Bar Sinister for Wednzdays Party for their one night Anne Rice tribute. Anne Rice was my most favorite writer throughout high school. I first discovered her book, Interview with the Vampire, at a thrift store and bought it for one dollar. That night, I read that book cover to cover, and I felt irrevocably changed after doing so. Her book brought so much meaning, so many questions, and opened up my world as I never thought possible. Anne is the reason I was able to see the beauty in the darkness of my life. Her passing… felt… like my best friend in high school passed away. Or a favorite teacher. She definitely was my goth mom in many respects. I feel her absence in the world, and my heart aches in a way I cannot succinctly place into words. When I first read Christopher Rice’s post about Anne’s passing, I didn’t want to believe it. Then, other new sources began to confirm the information, and then I knew it to be true. Father Sebastian posted that he would have a memorial dedicated to her at Bar Sinister on Wednesday night, and I knew I had to go. It felt like… closure. Like, being able to pay tribute to her properly as one would at a funeral. There was a table with two pictures of her, one young and one old. The younger picture was actually my fondest picture of her, wearing a beaded black gown, opulent in voluminous black satin as most 80s dresses were. She wore a headband with a veil, she is holding a book, and she is smiling mysteriously at the camera as if amused at a secret she cannot yet tell. In both pictures, she is Anne, and in both pictures, she is beautiful. I brought along one of my own vampire modeling photos and wrote my thank you to her. How her novels helped others to see the light in the darkness, and to rest in peace now. I brought her 5 dried red roses, 1 dried black rose, bound them in black ribbon, and tied them with a black glitter bat. I brought 3 small old candles I had at home- I wanted to bring real candles and light them on her memorial for her, but I was unsure if fire would be allowed so opted not to do so. I laid everything out, and as I did, Father Sebastian thanked me for showing my appreciation to her with flowers. I brought a small bag of fake rose petals and scattered them along the table as well, and he helped me do so. It was lovely to be able to show our love and appreciation to Anne in this small way, and to be surrounded by other lovers of her works too. After that, we walked inside for a drink and toasted each other. We clinked our glasses and said in unison “To Anne.” and drank deeply. I ordered a Blood Bath which is chambord, red wine, and cranberry juice and was very pleasant. I ordered it specifically for her, as I felt it suited the occasion. We sat and mused over the decor and the dancers and the music, and after a moment, the tvs flickered and they began playing both Interview with the Vampire and Queen of the Damned on the tvs. It was a tribute to Anne in the most gothic way possible. When they played “Love You to Death” by Type O Negative, Lex and I slow danced together on the dance floor. At one point, I pulled up my black velvet cloak around both of us and kissed him deeply. Someone whooped at us as we kissed, and we laughed at this together. We weren’t out long, perhaps an hour, and after finishing our drinks, we walked back to the memorial, paused for a moment in silence for Anne, then turned and left. There was a good turn out last night, about 50+ or so people were there all talking and smoking and drinking. It felt good to not be alone, and to share the same love with strangers who were also touched by this incredible writer. Anne Rice, you are incredible, and I love you. To our global vampire mother, rest in peace.